Today Is The Day I Bury My Father

I just awoke to another day of my life.  My alarm has yet to sound, and I know not what the day will bring.  I am know what lie within my thoughts: all the regrets, laments, meanderings over why am I here and what is my purpose.  I often consider how the lives of my parents and sister would have far superior if the life of my own had never begun.

Now they are all gone, and it is only myself...

Why all the anger?  Why all the self-centeredness?  Why did I think of myself so?  My own pain and hurt at never having enjoyed the ideal family?  Why did I see my father's faults as something so grievous it had to obliterate all the good he did?  My father was not a perfect man, of course, but he was a good man.  He did the best he knew with what he had, and while it may be cliche to say so, it is still true: I will miss him.