Time for a new blog post.
It's not that the subject I entitle this post with is one which has not been explored ad infinatum, over and over, upside down and right side out. It may possibly have been. Romance. Lust. Carnal Delight. Relationships that endure the wearing thin of any sensual delights. In one way or the other, writers, and artists, and stoic philosophers, and all souls who see beyond the mere immediate of the present circumstances, the sites titulating us for either good or for ill, these individuals have pondered these matters throughout the epochs of time.
I suppose it is my time to add my small voice into the mix.
Yesterday was a rather good day. I explained to one afterwards, when asked, it was approximately 90% good and 10% bad. The bad, to extricate it from the discussion, came in the form of a lack of historical records I sought from the courthouse, as well as the library, in Hertford North Carolina. I hoped, and quite frankly expected, to discover records pertaining to an ancestor of mine, Darby Sexton, who entered North Carolina somewhere in 1680 to claim 300 acres of land via the headrights policy in those days invoked (50 acres offered to every settler who enters the province; Darby brought with him six people).
As the county involved in this action, Perquimans County, was founded in 1670, and as the record must exist somewhere (otherwise, how would I know about it), I anticipated finding it at the very courthouse where he stepped to make this claim.
There was nothing.
The closest bit of information I could find was for his son-in-law, Esau Albertson, who made several land transaction in the early 1700s. Esau was the man who married Darby's daughter, Sarah.
Over the course of the day, I managed to find a number of new names and some new information, but I found nothing pertaining to the direct ancestors I sought. The discoveries through my exhaustive research of the materials available in both the courthouse and the library were solid discoveries, but they were nothing to what I hoped to learn further of Darby, or his wife Dorothy, or his daughter Sarah, who was born and died in Perquimans County.
So my day was 90/10.
Then I drove into Elizabeth City for an easy late lunch, or early dinner, at what was becoming my readily frequent haunt, Ruby Tuesdays.
My first stop in Ruby Tuesdays came when driving into Elizabeth City the first time a week earlier. Why I chose it as my restaurant of choice, I couldn't say. 'It was there' probably stands as good a reason as any. I certainly never intended revisiting it, and revisiting it, and revisiting it. The food was good, but it was no better, nor any worse, than any other restaurant in the neighborhood. Why continue returning, when I frankly had no need to?
Why does a guy do anything that makes little to no sense?
The first time I walked in, my server was a girl named Ally. Yesterday, following my 90/10 day, my server was Ally. It was the third time she waited on me.
If I were smart, I would conclude this post right here. I cannot place words to these three experiences in Ruby Tuesdays being waited on by Ally; and thus I am found, here and now on the following day, musing over the interpersonal relationships between men and women. Why are we attracted to certain people and not to others? And when attracted, how is one to interpret said attraction? Is it purely a carnal reaction? Is it an inward desire recognizing something significant and of substance in the other person we have yet to learn how to vocalize, to articulate in some coherent, discernible form? Can such an inherent longing even be categorized by some insipid attempts to add science into the mix?
Questions, Questions, Questions... Where do they end? How did they ever begin? In continuing to muse over my attraction to this girl, I can declare only a few things for certain. One, she made me smile. Her genuine and honest treatment of me - as a "person" and not just as a customer - made me feel important and I appreciated that. Who among us would not?
Naturally, the cynical exist who always view the mysteries of life through the spectrum of self-interest, i.e. the girl, in the operation of her job, was merely seducing me into buying more product, adding more food to my tab. Such is a real possibility which did cross through my mind, and it is something I cannot discount entirely. I will never claim myself as an astute observer of human nature, having been fooled by people time and time again. However, a story a former pastor of mine told me once applies here.
When asked about the benevolence of the church, the willingness of the church to assist whoever came to them for whatever need, he explained he fully understood the possibility of being taken advantage of by people merely seeking the church's small amount of funds. Such was a real possibility he was certain had occurred in the past. Yet to deny people help when they asked for it was to deny oneself of the blessing one would receive when the need was genuine. If he was to err, as all of God's children did, he would rather err on the side of trying to do something good than to withhold that good from someone who truly need a touch from God's grace.
In short, to me, this meant people are worth the benefit of the doubt. Yes, I have been fooled, time and time again. I have found myself disappointed by people I trusted as genuine, only to discover afterwards their 'genuineness' was a facade. Yet if I decide to see all people with whom I interact as phony, I miss out on the ones who are not.
Ally, I believe, was genuine. If I ever met her within a different setting, I believe she would be a warm and charming as she is when serving me meals at the place where she works. If she was not, I do not see myself as being as attracted to her as I am. Is this attraction lust? No. Lust is nothing more than a one-dimension reaction to a carnal desire. It carries no substance beyond what the eyes relay is there. I found Ally attracting because of her extraordinary personality, her focus on her future, her professionalism in her job, her absolute charm in washing away the regrets of the day. I hope one day I can meet someone like her in the more personable atmosphere such desired relationship challenges demand.
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